March 18th

Two years.  Two.freakin.years.  I have struggled with what to say today.  How do I put in to words what my mind is telling me, what my emotions are seeping and what my heart feels?

There are so many emotions tied to this day.  Overwhelming sadness and longing for our B, shear thankfulness for Dylan and Colton's lives not only being spared that day but also unscathed, the many many blessings that have come through this day, the amazing friendships that have been strengthened and formed and the deep gratitude towards ever.single.person that prayed, visited, loved, mourned, rejoiced with us that day and the last 730 days.

Some know our story while others do not.

On March 18, 2011 the four of us set out for our annual spring break trip to St. Pete Beach, Florida.  One hour from our 'normal' overnight stop our lives came to a screeching halt.  At roughly 8:00 p.m. a semi jack knifed across all lanes of traffic on Interstate 475 in Macon, GA.  We were right behind the truck.  Brent, who was driving, did not have time to react.  There were no skid marks.  Brent did not have enough time to even react to brake.  We do believe that the steering wheel was turned just enough for B to take the brunt of the force.  (In my mind, I know that was his intention.... he never would have wanted it to be any of the three of us)  All it took was an estimated 1.6- 1.8 seconds for our car to end up completely underneath the bed of the semi.  We were blessed with several people that night that took it upon themselves to come to our need.  For the first several minutes, they believed Brent was the only passenger.  It quickly changed when they heard screams from Dylan and I.  Dylan and Colton were safely in their car seats with the roof of the car sheared off above them, exposing them to the underneath of the semi.   (Colton unconscious from a concussion).  I was trapped on the floorboard under the dashboard, a mangled mess.  We were trapped for close to 3 hours.  Three hours that Dylan said he spent praying over the four of us and telling Colton and I that everything would be ok.  The nightmare continued for 16 more days.  We were transported to the Medical Center of Central Georgia. I was rushed in for emergency surgery and sedated for the next 7 days.  Our boys were in an unfamiliar place with no one they knew in sight.  They laid in their individual rooms for another 10 + hours until my family arrived.  From here it was surgery after surgery for me and the boys travelled back home to Indy.  Six days later they celebrated Dylan's 6th Birthday.  A birthday celebration without a mommy or daddy.  A memory that still haunts me.  Seven days later I awoke.  Awoke to discover that my B was gone and a list of injuries far to long to comprehend.  March 18, 2011 began our journey for a hope for tomorrow.......

I tried explaining this the other night... the pain has subsided but the loneliness is raw.  Like pour salt on an open wound, RAW.  I have often been told that it would get easier with time.......  It is different....new.  I often long for my old life.  I long for the companionship, the date nights, family vacations, holding hands..... the life that I used to have.  God chose this day to take Brent home.  He chose that day to change our lives forever.  He chose that day to make me a widow and D and C fatherless.  He chose to leave me with injuries far too many to count.  But.... he also chose that day to breath new life in to the three of us.  He gave us an opportunity to minister and testimony to those around us.  He chose US to walk this journey.... yet not alone.

Thank you from the depths of my soul to every.single.person. that has prayed for us, loved us, held us up, visited, offered help, made meals, played/sponsored the annual Brent Burns Memorial Golf Outing, donated, cried, laughed,  and most importantly never forgotten our Beloved B.  We love.  We mourn.  We Remember.  We Heal.

Xoxo, Melissa